A Soccer Match - Enjoyed through a television

Television viewing options are often the center of intra-family squabbles.  Who gets the remote, what does the family watch, and the list goes on.  Soccer in many ways can serve to quell these arguments.  It is the ultimate team sport and can bring a group of viewers together like nothing else on the hundreds of channels that cable TV provides.

So why, you ask, should we allow our children to spend hours watching 22 people chase a ball all over a grassy field?  Here are just a few reasons:

1.   The teams work towards a common goal – How many times have you heard someone on a little league team be accused of being a ball hog?  Watch the professionals show you how to work the ball around as one.  If you need a prime example, just go enjoy a Barcelona match.  The team resembles a pinball machine as the ball literally bounces around each player as they progress towards the opponent’s goal.  When there is a goal the whole team usually celebrates in one grand heap, because they each played an important role in the set up.  Working together is something your child should learn from a young age.

2.  Soccer Inspires Passion – There is no greater celebration than when a team scores a dramatic game winning goal.  As such, there is no greater frustration than when a player collapses in vain when he misses that glorious opportunity.  This is the passion of soccer.  Players truly get lost in the heat of the game, and it happens because they care so much.  So much importance can ride on every touch of the ball and in its finest moment, soccer shows everyone what hard work and discipline can lead to.

3.  Soccer teaches respect – Watch a man slide tackle an opponent to the floor and get a yellow card for dangerous play.  But then watch that player lend a hand out to help him up.  When a player goes down injured, opponents usually kick the ball out of bounds so the medical staff can assist them.  Players always shake hands before and after the match because they respect one another.  Common respect is something your child should understand from a young age, and soccer is a great way to show your child just that.  And, in the occasional moment where a player refuses to offer another respect, the commentators usually criticize them so young listeners will learn what’s right and wrong.

4.  Soccer is a cultural experience – All the clubs are made up of multicultural members.  The English club, Arsenal, is often criticized for not having enough Englishmen on the field because the team has so many French, Spanish, and even Cameroonian players.  In most parts of the world, the sport is referred to as football (since it is played with the feet), and everyone comes together to share in the sport that transcends any national border.  Go watch the World Cup and you’ll see people of every color and shape all united in their love for that single sport.  Do you want to learn a new language?  Go turn on a game from a foreign country and listen to the commentators speak in that country’s tongue.  So much of the world can be seen in the game’s global sport.

5.  Watching the sport teaches the sport – Have you ever heard the saying, “you don’t have to teach a kid to turn a double play, they’ve seen it happen a million times.”?  The same thing applies to soccer.  If your child plays the game, what better way to improve than to learn from the best?  You can watch how they move off the ball, how they keep their heads up to make passes, and how they dazzle our eyes with their feet.

So with that said, next time you pass by a soccer match on TV and skip on by, think about how much you and your child could learn if you just gave the beautiful game a chance.

For information about buying soccer uniforms, please visit Totally Soccer.

This story is a great reminder of the impact we have as soccer coach – on players and young people. We may not have opportunities to realize this impact in person – but rest assured that you made an impact. It is simple moments of appreciation – those players who see you years later and pass the “cross the street test” – who you know you reached and impacted as a player…and a person.

Enjoy the article – it’s a good one!

Does anyone have stories of players and families who showed gratitude for the efforts you made and the vital role you played?

Here’s the original story:

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My younger son was feverishly working on writing a paper when I arrived home from work one day this week. I inquired about the assignment.

The teacher asked the class to write about someone who played an influential role in their lives, he replied. I immediately thought “I bet he’s writing about me.” I prepared to give him a big hug and shed tears of joy.

“I’m writing about Joe,” he said, a reference to a soccer coach from two years ago.

After I overcame the blow to my ego, I quickly appreciated how my son would pick Joe as the subject of his paper. My son’s now in his third year of playing club soccer in Winston-Salem, and he’s had four different coaches. My older son, by contrast, has only had two coaches in his five years with the club, including the same one for the past four years.

While all the coaches have been very competent, Joe certainly made the biggest impact on my son. He still often quotes things Joe told the team. He uses skills he learned from Joe during games.

I thought my son did an outstanding job on the paper. He recalled many details about Joe, both his appearance, mannerisms and stories he told. Joe only coached the team for a little less than one year before moving to Charlotte to attend law school. I scanned the paper and emailed a copy to him, as it’s the type of tribute that means a lot to people.

Coaches play such an important role in the life of young people. Some, like those in high school or club soccer, are paid for their efforts. But many others volunteer out of a love for a sport and a willingness to pass on knowledge to impressionable youngsters. My sons have been fortunate that most of the coaches they’ve had showed competence in their efforts.

Youth coaches often determine whether a youngster will stick with a sport. If a coach makes practice fun and teaches skills that a child sees helping them to improve, then the chances are great the youngster will remain in the sport and perhaps move to more advanced levels. But a poor coach at a young age can cause a child to give up a sport, one in which he or she might have excelled in the proper environment.

Good coaches come in many different forms. Some are strict and put up with no foolishness. Others goof off with the team and emphasize fun. Some are loud, others quiet. The best ones strike the proper balance between teaching, fun and winning. That often is very difficult, too, especially keeping winning in its proper context.

I coached both my sons in basketball and soccer when they were younger. I enjoyed my time coaching, and I especially liked practices, where a coach’s primary role is teaching. Games were more challenging, as my competitive instincts sometimes got the better of me. Certainly I recall specific situations that I would handle differently, and I was definitely too hard on my own children at times.

The coaches who especially deserve praise are those who continue to coach even when they no longer have children playing. They receive no money for doing this, but they simply love the sport and want to share that with children. Perhaps some day once my children are in college I’ll return to the sidelines (although my days of demonstrating certain skills might be passed by then).

Words similar to the way my son ended his paper could be printed on appreciation plaques that outstanding coaches receive at the end of a season from grateful parents and players:

“Joe was the greatest coach I’ve ever had, and it’s hard to express in a paper how much he impacted me at the age of 11, as a soccer player and, more importantly, as a person.”

Source: http://www.the-dispatch.com/article/20120114/COLUMNISTS/301149994/1018/news?p=1&tc=pg

For information about buying soccer uniforms, please visit Totally Soccer.

The Mindset List

Each year since August 1998, Beloit College in Wisconsin releases “The Mindset List.” While specifically aimed at Professors to re-set their mind for the incoming college freshman, the list includes events that were part of the class’ life – and references that aren’t part of their mindset. The goal is to help Professors create relevant and timely references for their students, which they would clearly understand.

This incoming class was born in 1993; the year I graduated high school. I think my favorite was “Ferris and Sloane could be their parents.” In short, the list is iconic to me – and certainly, something I will take onto the fields with me. I think this is an annual reminder that we have to see the game through our player’s eyes. Here’s the list:

The Mindset List for the Class of 2015

Andre the Giant, River Phoenix, Frank Zappa, Arthur Ashe and the Commodore 64 have always been dead.

Their classmates could include Taylor Momsen, Angus Jones, Howard Stern’s daughter Ashley, and the Dilley Sextuplets.

1. There has always been an Internet ramp onto the information highway.
2. Ferris Bueller and Sloane Peterson could be their parents.
3. States and Velcro parents have always been requiring that they wear their bike helmets.
4. The only significant labor disputes in their lifetimes have been in major league sports.
5. There have nearly always been at least two women on the Supreme Court, and women have always commanded U.S. Navy ships.
6. They “swipe” cards, not merchandise.
7. As they’ve grown up on websites and cell phones, adult experts have constantly fretted about their alleged deficits of empathy and concentration.
8. Their school’s “blackboards” have always been getting smarter.
9. “Don’t touch that dial!”….what dial?
10. American tax forms have always been available in Spanish.
11. More Americans have always traveled to Latin America than to Europe.
12. Amazon has never been just a river in South America.
13. Refer to LBJ, and they might assume you’re talking about LeBron James.
14. All their lives, Whitney Houston has always been declaring “I Will Always Love You.”
15. O.J. Simpson has always been looking for the killers of Nicole Simpson and Ronald Goldman.
16. Women have never been too old to have children.
17. Japan has always been importing rice.
18. Jim Carrey has always been bigger than a pet detective.
19. We have never asked, and they have never had to tell.
20. Life has always been like a box of chocolates.
21. They’ve always gone to school with Mohammed and Jesus.
22. John Wayne Bobbitt has always slept with one eye open.
23. The Communist Party has never been the official political party in Russia.
24. “Yadda, yadda, yadda” has always come in handy to make long stories short.
25. Video games have always had ratings.
26. Chicken soup has always been soul food.
27. The Rocky Horror Picture Show has always been available on TV.
28. Jimmy Carter has always been a smiling elderly man who shows up on TV to promote fair elections and disaster relief.
29. Arnold Palmer has always been a drink.
30. Dial-up is soooooooooo last century!
31. Women have always been kissing women on television.
32. Their older siblings have told them about the days when Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera were Mouseketeers.
33. Most have grown up with a faux Christmas Tree in the house at the holidays.
34. They’ve always been able to dismiss boring old ideas with “been there, done that, gotten the T-shirt.”
35. The bloody conflict between the government and a religious cult has always made Waco sound a little whacko.
36. Unlike their older siblings, they spent bedtime on their backs until they learned to roll over.
37. Music has always been available via free downloads.
38. Grown-ups have always been arguing about health care policy.
39. Moderate amounts of red wine and baby aspirin have always been thought good for the heart.
40. Sears has never sold anything out of a Big Book that could also serve as a doorstop.
41. The United States has always been shedding fur.
42. Electric cars have always been humming in relative silence on the road.
43. No longer known for just gambling and quickie divorces, Nevada has always been one of the fastest growing states in the Union.
44. They’re the first generation to grow up hearing about the dangerous overuse of antibiotics.
45. They pressured their parents to take them to Taco Bell or Burger King to get free pogs.
46. Russian courts have always had juries.
47. No state has ever failed to observe Martin Luther King Day.
48. While they’ve been playing outside, their parents have always worried about nasty new bugs borne by birds and mosquitoes.
49. Public schools have always made space available for advertising.
50. Some of them have been inspired to actually cook by watching the Food Channel.
51. Fidel Castro’s daughter and granddaughter have always lived in the United States.
52. Their parents have always been able to create a will and other legal documents online.
53. Charter schools have always been an alternative.
54. They’ve grown up with George Stephanopoulos as the Dick Clark of political analysts.
55. New Kids have always been known as NKOTB.
56. They’ve always wanted to be like Shaq or Kobe: Michael Who?
57. They’ve often broken up with their significant others via texting, Facebook, or MySpace.
58. Their parents sort of remember Woolworths as this store that used to be downtown.
59. Kim Jong-il has always been bluffing, but the West has always had to take him seriously.
60. Frasier, Sam, Woody and Rebecca have never Cheerfully frequented a bar in Boston during primetime.
61. Major League Baseball has never had fewer than three divisions and never lacked a wild card entry in the playoffs.
62. Nurses have always been in short supply.
63. They won’t go near a retailer that lacks a website.
64. Altar girls have never been a big deal.
65. When they were 3, their parents may have battled other parents in toy stores to buy them a Tickle Me Elmo while they lasted.
66. It seems the United States has always been looking for an acceptable means of capital execution.
67. Folks in Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City have always been able to energize with Pepsi Cola.
68. Andy Warhol is a museum in Pittsburgh.
69. They’ve grown up hearing about suspiciously vanishing frogs.
70. They’ve always had the privilege of talking with a chatterbot.
71. Refugees and prisoners have always been housed by the U.S. government at Guantanamo.
72. Women have always been Venusians; men, Martians.
73. McDonalds coffee has always been just a little too hot to handle.
74. “PC” has come to mean Personal Computer, not Political Correctness.
75. The New York Times and the Boston Globe have never been rival newspapers.

Copyright© 2011 Beloit College
Mindset List is a registered trademark

Original list: http://www.beloit.edu/mindset/2015/

For information about buying soccer uniforms, please visit Totally Soccer.

Baby Mac - Coming February!

At only twenty-one years old, I stepped on the field for the first time as coach of the U12 Red Hot Chili Peppers. In that moment, I didn’t realize I was embarking upon “Parent Boot Camp.” For over a decade, I’ve continued to coach (even though I don’t have any kids) because I believe in giving back to the community. Other people did it for me and I understand and believe in the transformational power of coaching.

I made some really dumb mistakes coaching soccer, but I’ve also learned some incredibly valuable lessons. As I navigated the coaching waters, I intently watched the interactions of parents and players. In time, I found myself thinking, “Mental note to self: If I become a parent…” It became my own little handbook of parenting lessons – just in case I ever would be blessed with a wife and a child. Until now, these lessons were simple, lifeless “mental notes to self…”

Holy crud. I’m going to be a dad!

I’m thrilled to share that I’m going to have the first striker (or sax player or chess player or actor) on my very own family team. My wife, Rachel and I are expecting our first child in February. With a gaggle of nieces and nephews and an arsenal of life lessons from coaching soccer, I thought I might take a few moments share the “Notes to Self” I took about being a parent one day. These are more “ideals” than lessons, but I think it’s incredibly important to start with a framework. I know it’s woefully incomplete – and would love your single, most important tip on being a parent by commenting below.

I hope I’m able to actually live up to these lessons I’ve learned:

• Show up. There were parents that I didn’t meet in four years of coaching their son or daughter. When I spoke with the player, it was always quite evident that they knew they had no support mechanism and no interest. It matters to your kid. Show up. Even if you hate the sport, activity or pageant. Show up. And, be supportive.
• Through all of your actions, your kids are learning. Always use the guiding thought, “What are you teaching your kids?”
• Give your kids way more credit than you think. They watch, listen and learn from everything you say and do. Your attitude and body language are noticed in huge ways.
• When your kids get to an appropriate age, let them fight their own battles. If we are preparing our kids for the next stages of life, they must learn how to fight for the things they want. The burning desire must come from within.
• Read a lot. Know what’s going on in the world. Know what’s going on in your kid’s world.
• Stay fashionable. Don’t be “that dad” with knee high dress socks and flops. In fact, at some point, start letting your kids dress you; they’ll be way more apt to bring you around their friends.
• Keep up with the latest gadgets, gizmos and games. You lose the parental “cool factor” when you have to keep asking, “How do you work the remote?”
• If you disagree with playing time, coaching decisions, then plan on coaching the team next season.
• Playing time, like grades, are earned not given. Never use your influence to try to impact grades or playing time. Make your player or student earn it.
• Just like coaching soccer, you can’t do it for them. You have to provide them with the framework and the skills to succeed. But, ultimately, it is up to them.
• Learn to ask lots and lots of questions instead of simply giving answers. Socrates was onto something by guiding discovery without stealing it.
• Never think the delusional thought, “My kid wouldn’t do that.” No questions asked. Your kid did it. Hold him or her accountable.
• Be supportive, but not overbearing. Find the line between challenging your son or daughter and pushing them away and frustrating them. THEY are not YOU. Celebrate them for who THEY are – not who YOU wanted to be in your glory days.
• Say, “I love you” and “You were awesome” as much as possible.
• Insist on hugging and kissing your child every time they depart from you. You just never know.
• Avoid, “You shoulda…” statements. You take the joy of self-discovery away.
• Believe in the process. A great process will always exceed results-orientated people in the long-term. There’s plenty of time for “results” when you reach the corner office in life.
• Do it for the joy. And, give it everything you have with all your might.
• Celebrate “best.” Not “my” best or “the” best. Celebrate “their” best.
• Be a little bit zany. So many times people didn’t see the humor of the day.
• Always stop practice to watch the sunset for 30 seconds. Remind every player that it’s a big, big world. And, they are part of it!
• Get on your knees often to see the world from their eyes. It looks way different and way bigger (and scarier) at 36″ than it does at 72″
• There is never a wrong time to do the right thing; and never a right time to do the wrong thing.
• No matter what: Never allow your child to quit. The life lesson of “sticking it out to uphold your commitment” is well worth the short-term misery that a sport may hold over your child. Never allow the notion of quitting to enter your child’s mind. It’s the worst lesson you can “let them get away with” and will lead to an average life.
• Allow your child to save face with friends. Never berate your kid with an audience.
• Kids (and you) will make mistakes. Use it as a lesson to grow instead of rubbing the nose in it. It’s like yelling at a player who missed a shot in the game. He knows he missed it and already feels awful; he doesn’t need you to further embarrass him and steal his “self.”
• Take joy in the simple things. While putting the ball in the back of the net is amazing, I’ve found much greater joy in the kids finally “getting” and making the simple pass.
• Do everything you can to foster a strong sense of “self.” Self-discipline, self-confidence, self-esteem, self-motivated, self-expression, etc. Indeed, the only thing enduring is “self.”
• Keep looking at the big picture. Know that your actions are contributing to the big picture positively.
• Know your family values, communicate those values and hold your kids to those values. Same thing with the team.
• Engage in community service. Give back to the community.
• Hold your kids responsible to contribute to the family “team.” We do our kids a huge disservice if we do everything for them in the name of love. They’ll never be prepared for challenges when you’re not there. Make sure your kids can cook, clean and do their own laundry.
• Learning happens by doing. Let your kids make mistakes in safe environments. Because they will make mistakes and shielding them won’t help them learn.
• Revere imagination over reality. Don’t be skeptical with your kids. Let them dream HUGE dreams. It’s us adults that put the kibash on creativity in the name of experience and “knowing better.” Imagination is amazing and should be treasured! Players often surprised me when they figured ways to do things without me telling them.
• Everyone has lost something, hated something and loved something. We’re all the same. If you seek to find the differences in people, you will find them. And, if you seek to find the similarities, you’ll find them too. All depends on your perspective.
• The greatest gift you can provide is a positive perspective. We cannot control the world around us, but we can always control the way in which we react. Work hard to put yourself in situations that stretch the comfort zone, so that our experience of “normal” is wider and deeper than the rest of the world. It will lead to better understanding and problem-solving.
• The quality of your life is in direct proportion to width and depth of your perspective. Put players and kids in new positions in life, so they can learn and grow.

To all the parents and administrators at the Haddonfield Soccer Club, I thank you for the opportunity to learn with your kids, so I could be be more prepared for mine. (And, I know that nothing can prepare you for being a parent.) I hope I did your kids justice and taught them the “important” life lessons along the way.

I know I don’t have it all – and definitely don’t know it all. What’s the most important lesson you can share with me about being a first-time parent?

For information about buying soccer uniforms, please visit Totally Soccer.

Is Your Soccer Team Headed the Wrong Way? (Photo: Johnny Jet)

Last week, we posted some early warning signs of your soccer team’s success. Well, we received some comments about the opposite end of the spectrum: As a coach, how do you know when your soccer team is off track? This is especially true for newer coaches who may not recognize certain actions or reactions from themselves, players or parents. The key here is to take action to correct these issues and get your team back on track.

Here are the tell tale signs that your soccer team has lost its way:

1. Coaches shouting direction from the sidelines instead of allowing their players to become thinking, creative players. Coach your players, don’t yell at them!
2. Teammates screaming at and blaming one another on and off the field.
3. Players are constantly asking, “What the score?”
4. You or your players don’t respect the referee’s decisions in a match and dissent.
5. Parents are outwardly questioning your approach to coaching soccer and playing time
6. The last time you spoke with your parents or held a team meeting was…never.
7. You can’t separate what’s right for the the player and what’s good for the team? Great coaches will recognize when players should move on to more competitive situations.
8. Parents are paying their kids for goals instead of celebrating the joy of the process in the game
9. You’re the first one at practice. The loss of joy on the field has taken hold.
10. Your players have shiny new soccer balls. This is good, but a clear indication they’re not practicing on their own.

 Do you have any other tell tale signs that something is wrong with your soccer team?

For information about buying soccer uniforms, please visit Totally Soccer.

The 3 key points:

• Make the Game Fun at All Costs
• Give the Game back to the Kids
• Perspective: What are your trying to achieve?

This awesome video is worth the 9 minute investment. It will make you think.

For information about buying soccer uniforms, please visit Totally Soccer.

Creative Commons: Gregreesehd

After 25 years and some 4,600+ shows, the Oprah Winfrey Show ended last week. Oprah became a cultural icon that with one fell swoop could make you laugh, cry and think; she inspired all of us to become better people and elevate us to higher callings.

Just as my family taped the final episode of MASH, I recorded the final episode of Oprah. As I sat and listened to her, she referred to her show as one big classroom; I share that vision and it’s why I called this site, Soccer Classroom. We all learn from one another and we all teach one another. It gives credence to the “Learning Head Fake” that Randy Pausch so famously and aptly made us think about in his Last Lecture.

As I listened to Oprah’s last performance, I was struck by the lessons she was sharing. These are universal truths for life…and, of course, for coaching soccer. Duh! I thought I would interpret the lessons Oprah imparted with the world and apply them to soccer. After all, as coaches, we are the “Head Fake” to propel our players to greater things in life. Thanks, Oprah, for the amazing lessons learned and the inspiring lessons taught.

1. Show Up
In a show of Cal Ripken-like triumph, Oprah did not miss a day in 25 years. And, Cal gets all the credit for being an Iron Man. He’s got nothing on Oprah. And, the reason we must show up: Our players are counting on us. I know there are days “I just don’t have it”, but once I get there, I find the energy from my players to conduct a great session. We are a team and we elevate each other because there is no way we can always be at our best. This is one of the best aspects of team – show up, be held accountable and have a great session you were originally dreading. You’ll be surprised at the results of simply showing up, day after day.

2. Everyone Has a Calling
As coaches, we have to find the calling of every player. So many coaches simply want to coach “the team” without regard to individual player needs. While coaching only the team is way easier than treating each player as an individual and finding out what makes them tick, you are shortchanging the opportunity. Finding each player’s calling results in dynamic interactions and higher levels of relationships and results. We must help players find their calling. And, once we do, we must support those efforts in helping them to carry it forward.

3. The Platform is a Privilege
The platform to show up each soccer event and the opportunity to teach is a privilege. You are allowed into a player’s life to make a difference. Your power comes from the platform, but you have to be authentic to maintain that power. And, you have to decide how you will use that power. Your actions in life speak for you. It is certain that you receive in direct proportion to what you give – so give it everything you have. And, you hold in your hands the opportunity to change lives. It’s all because you have the platform…and it’s a privilege.

4. Learn by Watching Others
As coaches, we don’t have to have all the answers to life’s questions – on or off the field. We learn by watching others. Learn from mentors in life. As my brother once shared with me, “Learn from my mistakes. I made them for you.”
In my pre-season meeting, I always implore my parents to understand their actions from the sidelines make a difference. I ask them, “Consider your action and ask, what are you teaching your players?” In order to create the best opportunities possible, we have to learn from each other by watching and sharing with one another. How are you getting better? Who are you watching?

5. You Alone are Responsible
Life’s moment of liberation comes when you accept responsibility to live your life as your own. We, and we alone, are responsible for our actions and success. The importance of your energy when you take the field is unmistakable on your players: body language, tone and preparedness all count. Are you taking the responsibility seriously to create the best opportunities possible for your team? Are you making sure that your players aren’t making excuses, but rather accepting the responsibility to work hard to excel? You must instill the mindset from a sheepish “Sorry” to the positive replacement of “Next time!” The empowering mindset precedes success.

6. Newton’s Third Law
This is an immutable law in physics: every action has an equal and opposite reaction. If you are angry, you can be certain your players will be angry. If you are positive and prepared, your players will embrace and return that energy back to you in full force. Live your life and your actions by the Golden Rule. Before you step onto the field, leave all your worries and concerns on the sidelines. Tip: Take 20 seconds before you leave your car to mentally prepare a buzz saw of wonderful energy for your team. Your players are noticing.

7. You are Not Alone
The shared experience of a team enhances our journey and builds us together to higher levels. It is imperative that we pay attention to team dynamics. Get it right and the camaraderie and confidence builds; get it wrong and it is a downward spiral into individuality and dissention. In true Maslow style, the highest levels of state go from: dependent (as a child) to independent (as an adolescent and young adult) to hopefully achieving interdependence. We all count upon one another and need one another – especially as a successful team. There is no such thing as a self-made man and there certainly is no self-made coach.

8. Disaster Rises from Unworthiness
Validation is a fundamental human need – to feel worthy in the world. The common thread of human disaster comes from the feeling of being unworthy. Though soccer, we have the platform to teach those life lessons and instill the gift of confidence in our players. As Oprah pointed out, everyone and every player wants to know they are seen, heard and matter.

How are you making sure your players are seen, heard and matter?

9. Success Rises from Shared Visions
In order to have a shared vision, you must first understand your own coaching philosophy. Do you have one? We certainly can’t know where we’re going if we don’t have a plan to share. After all, the time you need a map is before you enter the forest. Now, once you have that vision, we need to live it: your actions are a reflection of your life and the fuel to inspiring and achieving those shared visions. Shared visions come by embodying the values necessary to overcome the obstacles that will certainly be placed in front of you. And, in the process, be kind and generous and gracious to give credit to those players, coaches and administrators around you.

10. Know there is Something Greater than You
I have a favorite saying. It goes, “I am not the center of the Universe; I am a small spec of it.” For me, it’s a mental state that reminds me that the world does not revolve around me and my little sphere. Soccer and my world are simply a part of the universe and it forces me to connect the dots for my players. Unfortunately, and we’ve all run into the jerks on the opposing touchline, there are some coaches who believe they are the God’s of their own sphere. They’re willing to bend and break the rules to achieve some end result and forget their place as part of the greater whole. This is why I really like coaching lesson 6; this always comes back to bite you.

11. Create a Safe Harbor
As coaches, we never fully understand each family and life situation and the mental state our players arrive in to the field. Creating a Safe Harbor through sports can be one of the greatest head fakes the platform can provide to us. I personally grew up in a broken home and I found solace in sports and a wonderful community. My awesome coaches provided me the opportunity to flourish and allow the difficulties of the day disappear. By creating safe harbors and mindful that there is something greater we’re trying to achieve, while still holding player accountable, we can understand that a rising tide lifts all boats.

12. The Final Test: Displaying Gratitude for the Work
Gratitude and humility elevates all people. We all must share the yellow brick road of blessings and use the experience of the work for good. I have always believed in the “cross the street test.” To me, it’s the final test as a coach. When you see your players downtown, they can do one of two things. They can cross the street to come greet you; or they can cross the street to get out of the way. No matter which it is, we know if we’ve reached that player. Nonetheless, we have to have display gratitude to have done the work and used the platform for the best of its highest purpose. In fact, you never cease being a coach, a coach in the game of life.

I will personally miss Oprah Winfrey and the daily lessons she taught all of us. She is an amazing woman whose life’s work embodied her value system, inspired confidence and elevated souls. I hope I can do that same as a soccer coach.

What do you think are the best lessons from Oprah?

For information about buying soccer uniforms, please visit Totally Soccer.

The Last Lecture

Randy Pausch is the guy behind The Last Lecture. If you aren’t familiar with the story,Professors in college are to give seminal “last lectures” when they retire. Unfortunately for Randy, his last lecture came as a result of losing his battle with cancer.

Randy became one of those lifetime coaches who taught such important life lessons. His last lecture became an internet phenomenon and also went on to become a best-selling book. It truly is inspirational. I’m a bit of a crier (turn the Hallmark station on and the facet starts running)  and this one sent me over the edge. As a coach, we’re “enablers of helping others achieve their dreams.” We can’t forget that.

Below is the video of Randy’s Last Lecture – it’s long, but it will move you. It will make you think. It has changed people’s lives (just read the YouTube comments). I want you to pay close attention at minute 8:15 where he speaks about his childhood experiences with football. In this clip, he introduces the concept of “head fake learning.” Head Fake Learning is where we use one activity to teach another. For instance, we use sports to teach teamwork. And hustle. And determination. The concept is spot on. Personally, as a soccer coach, I’ve always held that soccer is a microcosm of life. All the things you learn on a soccer field to be successful are directly applicable to your success in the classroom, as a friend and as a working adult. And, at the end of the video at 1:14:00, he tells you what the talk was about…something we all could use a reminder. Great video!

What are the important lessons you’re teaching your team using “head fake learning?”

For information about buying soccer uniforms, please visit Totally Soccer.